Fourth grade was the first time I ever thought about what I would be when I grew up. Well, that's not entirely true. It was the first time I based the thought in reality. My dream of being a super hero shattered, and I halted my intensive study of powers I didn't possess(i.e. flying, shooting lasers out of my hands, and running) to focus on my true calling. I wanted to be an artist. Ugh, that word makes me feel gross now, but I use it because fourth grade me held it with such sincerity. Subsequently, I almost failed fourth grade. My ambitions were in place, so who needs math. I wasn't distracted, I just didn't do anything I was supposed to.

Somewhere along the windy road of youth I lost sight of that pursuit. My days were spent running around with friends, and just plain enjoying the world, rather than bettering my technique. My eyes casually wandered from art, to music, back to art, to snowboarding, and finally back to music again. There are times that I wish someone had told me,"You are going to have to be very good at something when you grow up," but mostly, I can go with the flow.

Recently, I have had the urge to draw. Unfortunately, my ability has slipped somewhat behind my expectations. It hurts not being able to portray someone as beautiful as Edie Sedgwick in the way that I see her. To me she is a paradox. Her beauty is effortless, though the effort that she put into her appearance is obvious. Tired eyes.

Eric M.

Illustration: Eric Morelli